Many other coffees are bitter with the taste of necessity – not the after work coffee: it’s the one you drink because you want to. Free time – who doesn’t love it? Your existence is certainly better spent at a beloved local establishment, enjoying a vibe forward, coffee purveying, and third-ish space than out fucking around in corporate America, stroking, what, a keyboard – and then there’s the matter of the emails! Let’s not belabor the point. You’ve chosen death. At least from the hours of 8 to 4, with some porosity. But look at that, it’s 4, time to undie – or, in the parlance of our times, alive – and then meander down to a beloved local establishment, order a coffee, make social mistakes, recover, meander over to the good table (it’s open), and do your best not to emote as the two women next to you talk about, what else, corporate America – don’t they know it’s after 4? Less than familiar with the workings of a nuclear storage facility, you venture a metaphor: things that are radioactive, green and glowing and so forth, these are kept away from the rest of society in some sort of thickwalled prison – lead, perhaps? And here these perverts are, opening the door – out goes the radiation – you can see the suffering already – oh the humanity! – oh – oh god – oh Jesus – Jesus fucking Christ – she fucking slit her –
– OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK?
She fucking-
– ALEXIS WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST – CALL AN AMBULANCE! CALL AN AMBULANCE!
She-
– WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!
Me. She’s talking to me. Okay, phone. 911.
– We’re in Guerreo’s Cafe and a woman just slit her wrists, you have to send an ambulance … yes the one that’s on Guerrero … yes it’s a crazy coincidence, are you sending an ambulance? … ok thank god … I don’t know, she was probably listening to this stupid conversation about AI integrations
… I don’t see how that could possibly be germane … how could you know that? … from my voice? The ambulance is coming, I’m hanging up.
Okay there’s a tourniquet-
– Excuse me.
I can’t believe-
– Excuse me!
– Sorry?
– You think that woman slit her wrists because we were talking about AI integrations?
– What?
– You said she was probably listening to this stupid conversation about AI integrations.
– Right.
– …
– So?
That is an expressive face.
– Well why else would she do it here?
– I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU SLIT YOUR WRISTS IN THE MIDDLE OF GUERRERO’S ON A TUESDAY!
– I’m sorry. I didn’t-
– ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?
– What?
– Unbelievable.
– …
– Unbelievable!
– The ambulance is coming.
– I KNOW THE FUCKING AMBULANCE IS FUCKING COMING!
– Then?
– I just don’t understand. How you could think.
A woman. Would. SLIT HER WRISTS-
– I mean she was suicidal.
– What?
– You ever been?
– WHAT?
– Bad day, you’re in G u e r r e r o ’s , someone is talking about AI integrations, you’re already d e p r e s s e d , now you’re t h i n k i n g about climate c o l l a p s e , there’s no hope, the capitalists won-
– I –
– You’ve had enough, so you grab your knife and-
– You’re insane. You’re actually insane.
– I take my meds.
– I literally can’t believe I’m having this conversation.
– It is kind of weird she just had that knife on her.
– Are-
– Who brings a knife to Guerrero’s?
Ah! Here’re the sirens.
Finally. They’re opening the door. Help at last.
– Over there.
– Yeah we can see that. Eek.
– Sorry.
– You tell everyone how to do their jobs?
– What?
– You go in the back of Guerrero’s and tell them how to make chilaquiles? That’s you?
– I –
– Because you’re the fucking expert, right? You’re the first responder.
Here. You fucking save her.
– No, I was just-
– Earlier, they were saying they thought she slit her wrists because we were talking about AI integrations.
They?
– With these suicidal cases, you know, they’re not always rational.
Hitting me with the they/them at Guerrero’s?
– You’re taking their side? You really think this woman slit her wrists because we were talking about AI integrations?
– What was your affect?
– My affect?
– Eager, upset, resigned?
– I don’t see how that could possibly be germane.
They/them’d! At Guerrero’s.
– Eagerly talking about AI integrations could … I’ve seen crazier things, is all I’m saying.
– Why don’t we ask her? Hey, can you ask your friend-
– Alexis.
– …
– Alexis!
– … wh … a … t?
– Why’d you slit your wrists?
– What?
– Is it because they were talking about AI?
– Who?
– Those women.
– Those women?
– Yeah.
– They were talking about AI?
– SEE I FUCKING TOLD YOU-
– I was listening to those guys talking about AI.
And at least they look sheepish!
~ Isabel Pabán Freed
